i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
