I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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