break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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