You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize