That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
