You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
