it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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