You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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