why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Fuck appropriateness.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize