Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just puked most of my soul out..
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
