I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
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