I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
