Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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