Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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