What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
