he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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