You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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