She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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