Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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