He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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