Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
