booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
