If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
