That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
