You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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