I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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