So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
