I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
