did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
All I want is dick and wine.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
