here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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