Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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