I'd wear matching sweaters with you
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
