I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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