I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
