By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
