Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
