It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
