I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
