I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
