remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
