he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
