super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
