Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
