If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
