Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
