Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
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my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
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I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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