Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
