My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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