yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
