I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
