i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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