He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
