please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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