Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
