Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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