does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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