he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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