True but thats because hes a fetus.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
why is half of my head shaved?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
