did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
