ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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