super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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