Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
How's work?
Spinning.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize