i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
