I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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