If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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