Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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