If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
