He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
