fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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